Rubano il Cukident

Al supermercato il di solito compro solo bevande. In particolare birre belghe: me le tengo in un piccolo frigo dedicato. Un mini-lusso che mi concedo e del quale approfitto, specie dopo aver tagliato il prato.

Al supermercato, mentre infatti puntavo allo scaffale delle birre, a causa della tunnel vision del cacciatore che ha individuato la preda, ho urtato alcuni prodotti che sono finiti a terra. Per fortuna niente di vitreo o deperibile. Però, mentre li raccoglievo, mi sono accorto che alcune confezioni erano stranamente leggere. In particolare, una scatoletta di Cukident, quella pasta adesiva per le dentiere. Incuriosito l’ho aperta e effettivamente era vuota. Cen’erano altre due, vuote anche quelle. Allora sono andato alla cassa per avvertirli che qualche buontempone gli aveva fregato tutti i tubetti. La cassiera mi ha guardato come se fossi un marziano: un marziano coglione. In realtà, i tubetti li tolgono loro, perchè altrimenti glieli rubano.

Ah.

Allora ho pensato a chi possa rubare il Cukident. Ho controllato, un tubetto costa 9 Euro, non poco. Allora mi è comparsa davanti l’immagine di un anziano, senza soldi, con la dentiera che viene via. Cosa fa? Compra da mangiare o compra l’adesivo?

Ma da quando cazzo gli anziani vanno a rubare al supermercato? Sveglia Tota! Da quando non ce n’è più! I segni del declino sono sempre molteplici, ma alcuni dettagli colpiscono di più perchè mostrano le piccole miserie intime delle persone. Le auto bicolori con i ricambi recuperati in discarica. I pacchetti di sigarette da dieci. E il Cukident.

Ma gli anziani il sistema li può ancora controllare, ance se si ribellano alla decadenza. Il problema sarà quando resteranno col culo per terra i padri di famiglia. Allora sì che tutti quanti we take a walk on the wild side.

Understanding Italian voters.

I am going to try and explain my foreign friends what happened during the last elections in Italy.

Actually, if I was not Italian, I would probably not give a damn about this whole mess, contented with the knowledge that the place maintains its constant instability (an oxymoron, I know, but there is no shortage of morons here).

But really there is some logic in what is happening here.

We have cast our votes and have ended up with a parliament split in three. A third of the Italians have voted for Berlusconi and his xenophobic sidekicks. A third has voted for the opposing Democratic Party, and the remaining third for the explosive 5 star movement, inspired by the comedian Beppe Grillo.

Since none of these forces seem compatible with the other two, we are now gridlocked. But how did it come to this?

Well, Berlusconi enjoyed a wider support in the past. His negligent tenure at prime minister and his never ending scandals and crimes have alienated a lot of his right-wing electors, and he was left with only the residual support of the fanatics and the sub-humans who would follow him whatever he does or say. Surprisingly, this “residual” is around a quarter of the Italians. This is very embarrassing for me and for all Italians who have any kind of relation with the outer world.

The Democrats should have attracted part of this hemorrhagic of consensus, but they were unable to do so. This was due in part to the fact that they are not very good at communicating to people who are not well educated and well-off in the same time, so they should consider it a miracle they actually ended up being the most voted ones, although by a narrow margin. On top of this, their public and private behaviour was not different enough from that of the “Berlusconians” to grant them any recognition of good ethical or moral standard. The fact that their well-mannered, competent, although rather unattractive representative, Bersani, did not have enough media appeal is in my opinion a minor factor in their failure to clinch the expected majority.

Enters the 5-star movement of Beppe Grillo. They are new, they are young, they are not corrupted (yet) and their political platform is a heady mix of populist claims and advanced, legitimate requests. People have flocked to this new proposal, nauseated by the usual parties.

There you go. We had other minor parties, some of which had some merit, but they got squashed by an election system which has been designed by a media tycoon so it is all about mass-media control.  

What is going to happen? Actually I have no clue. I know what should happen, but in this country logical consequences rarely materialize.